NDEs and ADCs

I do this upper body workout with Chris Freitag about three times a week.  I do it so much, I know the thing by heart.  My favorite line:  “I just love pushups.  I don’t know why.  I just love them.”  Collective groan....

Here’s my line:  I just love metaphysical books.  I just love reading about the afterlife.  I don’t know why.  I just love them.”  Collective groan....

My latest kick....NDEs and ADCs.  Near Death Experiences and After Death Communications.

I devoured Dying To Be Me:  My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing by Anita Moorjani.  She was born to Indian parents, raised in Hong Kong, always tried to please everyone...forever fearing she would displease so she suppressed her rebelliousness, her independence....basically, denying her spirit to be free.  Anyway, she was fortunate to find a great love, but lost two young friends to cancer.  She was terrified of the disease and ended up getting a particularly virulent form of it and, eventually, fell into a coma where she had a near death experience.  She learned she would not only survive but become her true self and live totally without fear.  She basically learned she was the source of her happiness and salvation.

When she emerged from her coma, her body healed very quickly and her doctors were completely stymied to find she had not a trace of cancer.  They ran tests over and over but she always told them they would find nothing.  Amazing story....I’m not so sure.

Then, I picked up Hello From Heaven:  A New Field of Research--After-Death Communication Confirms that Life and Love are Eternal by Bill and Judy Guggenheim.  OMG!!!  I never had a clue how many forms of after death communications or how often it happens!  These are communications without an intermediary.  No mediums involved.  They interviewed thousands of people and narrowed it to a few hundred.

Many people asked their terminally ill loved ones to show them a sign after they died that life existed after death.  Good God....there are electronic signs like lights mysteriously going on and off or even physically appearing in dreams or in their homes.  Sometimes, you can tell they’re there because all of a sudden you smell their favorite flower or perfume or coffee.  Almost always, a feeling of love and warmth completely overwhelms the person.  And, if they can see them, they are younger and very healthy looking.

Sometimes, I get a little wistful because I’ve never seen my loved ones who have passed on and I never remember my dreams.  But, I’ve been told in readings that Kevin, my late husband, comes and gets me when I’m asleep and takes me to The Garden to talk and play.  Don’t ask me...I don’t know but I’m not denying it happens either.

I have had a couple of experiences where I know Kevin was there.  The first one happened right when he passed.  I woke up the day after he died with a red mark on my left eyelid.  It stayed with me for a couple of days and my explanation is that he kissed me there while I was sleeping.

That same week, I was walking our dog, Ginger, about 10 in the evening.  Suddenly, she stopped, looked up, and started wagging her tail like crazy.  I knew he was there.  I just smiled and said, “Hi, Honey!”

The best one happened to Justin, my son.  About two months after Kevin was gone, I had to be in Philadelphia for a field trip with my eighth grade history students and Justin had a soccer game that was really important to him.  I felt really badly about not being there and when I got home, he was over the moon because he had scored the winning goal.  In the life of a 13 year old, this was huge!

That night, Kevin came to Justin in his dream and told him how proud he was.  When he awoke the next morning, Justin was so excited to tell me that his dad was so strong again and so healthy.

Wow....you just never know.  They’re there, they’re still part of our lives.  We are never alone.

He's Just a Regular Guy

I haven’t been feeling woo woo for awhile now.  I haven’t gone to the Center for Spiritual Enlightenment in almost a year....not sure why.  Maybe, the mediumship class didn’t work for me.  God knows, I tried but it just wasn’t there.

I haven’t felt Edith with me lately.  I still carry her picture, but I think she’s probably sticking closer to her son, my ex.  She did promise me if he didn’t work out, she’d find someone else for me....which she did.  I thank her everyday.  But, her son needs her a whole lot more than me so I think she’s with him.

I will say that every time I see a feather I think of Marcia, my friend who passed suddenly from an aneurism at age 54.  She told me in a reading last year that when I see a feather, she’s near me.

I do know my guardian spirit is always with me.  And, I sometimes feel my grandmother and my father.  Always, I say a prayer of gratitude for all the blessings in my life and their guardianship keeps me from living with fear....at least, most of the time.

My last reading was on December 1st and it was one doozy of a reading.  It stunned me so much that I haven’t been able to write about it until now.  My Uncle Vinnie had passed less than a month earlier.  This is what happened.

Medium:  There’s a male here and he’s saying, ‘I’m okay, I’m fine.’  You’re new at this, I can tell.  I’ll ask you the questions then.  There’s a warm energy, a newness in spirit.  There’s a woman and male with him standing back and letting him talk.  (I think that’s my grandmother and his son, my cousin, who passed when he was 32, 20 years ago.)

Medium:  His personality was skeptical....prove it to me was his way of looking at the world.  He was very loving but could be a bit cynical.  He was very family-oriented.  I’m picking up that he had something systemic as well as something related to the head, like a stroke or dementia. (It was a neurological disorder as well as dementia.)  He was ill for quite awhile but once he made up his mind to go, he went.

Medium:  Who’s Bert?

Me:  That’s my grandmother’s nickname.

Medium:  What a strong energy she has.  She’s with your uncle.  She had cancer? (I nod.)  She’s standing behind him, propping him up to give him the energy to come through.  He says, ‘Tell Helen he’s fine and that he’s amazed by this.’ (Helen is his mate, my aunt.)

Medium:  He had a strong religious background; he was a layman pastor. (He was a very devout Catholic and a cantor for years.)  He is very happy where he is and says it is all about being peaceful and loving there.  We are all the same.  He says he’s seen Jesus and he’s just a regular guy.  It’s not what you would think.

My aunt was somewhat puzzled by that....”He’s just a regular guy.”  Of course, he’s not just a regular guy to people who worship him and who are devoted to their beliefs.  I explained to her how I interpret that statement is that he’s humble and meek and that he does not set himself above others.  Isn’t that ‘just a regular guy’?

Medium:  He’s saying that his son came and Bert came to pick him up as he exited.  They had been hovering.  They were helping him to transition to the other world.  Joe, his son, was talking him through it.

Medium:  I’m seeing that Joe had an illness that stretched out so he knew what it was to go through a long process.  (He had AIDS.)  He didn’t want his father to worry about the time it was taking.  The process was long but the end was short.  They knew quality of life and there was none left.

Medium:  He is blessing you.  (ME?)

Medium:  There are things he said he never should’ve said.  He is apologetic in a loving way.  There shouldn’t have been judgment.  (I was forever a rebel in my family; I married out of my race, not something most southern girls do.  I had rejected organized religion that pits one faith against another.  I was the only ‘liberal’ in a fiercely ‘conservative’ family.)  

My Uncle:  You knew what you were doing.  You have the bigger picture.  I had tunnel vision, there was much fear.  Now I know nobody’s perfect.  Tell your aunt how it really is.  Don’t do what I did.  The picture is much bigger than what we believed.    I am proud of you.  You made tough decisions.  Now, I know you had to do it that way.  You have really been open-minded despite being brought up so differently.  I never had the courage to break free.

Me:  I don’t agree.  You did break free from the gangs of New York City.  You defied all odds and became a doctor, a healer.

My Uncle:  Yes, but I didn’t change my way of thinking.  You did.  You had the courage to do what you needed to do knowing you were going to be ostracized by your family.

And, then, I totally dissolved into tears.  Tears of joy, tears of relief, tears of forgiveness, tears of knowing I was in touch with my family on the other side....people who had meant the world to me growing up.

The reading blessed and humbled me.  I would love to live my life without fear, without judgment.  But, like all of us, I’m a work in progress....just a regular gal.

Ray Shows Up in New Orleans

Steve and I made the journey to New Orleans for the Jazz and Heritage Fest in April.
I had never been to it; Steve had never even been to New Orleans.

I’ve got history there.  My great great great aunts, the Kellys, immigrated from Ireland at the height of the potato famine.  One stayed in New Orleans setting up a men’s tailor shop, never marrying.  The other two moved on to Mobile, eventually marrying up and leading fairly aristocratic lives, producing the requisite Catholic priest son and the unwelcome rebellious daughters who dared to teach business subjects in colleges or pursue careers of their own.  Needless to say, finding a husband who endorsed their independence wasn’t easy.

My grandmother was the daughter of the business college teacher so eventually there were progeny from these spirited women.  She moved on to Orlando marrying a Georgia dirt farmer causing much consternation among the Mobile blue bloods.  Almost but not quite being disowned as her own mother was by her father’s family.  Why the rejection of my great grandmother?  Because she was a CAREER WOMAN!!!!  Ahhhh....the good old days.

All that to say that I am well acquainted with New Orleans from our annual vacations to visit our kin on the Gulf Coast.  One of my best memories is going to the Court of Two Sisters with my great aunts where they bought me my first real drink.  I was only 14.  They had never raised children so maybe they weren’t aware of age restrictions.  It was grand.  We left feeling a little ‘tipsy’...my Aunt Eulalie’s favorite expression.

I couldn’t wait to show Steve the French Quarter starting with beignets and cafe au laits at Cafe du Monde.  Could there ever be enough powdered sugar on those beignets??  He loved them.  Then, off to walk the streets gazing at antiques and art galleries, listening to impromptu jazz and being solicited for palm readings.

Eventually, we made our way to Bourbon Street where vast quantities of water were being sloshed on the sidewalks to diminish the smell of vomit from the previous night...
without much success I might add.  Amazingly enough, a couple of scarlet women were trying to scare up a clientele.

Found the Napoleon House for a late lunch and had my favorite--a muffaletta.  I love those things!  Olive salad, salami, pepperoni, ham, Swiss cheese and provolone on focaccia bread....the absolute best sandwich and the worst diet food.  Can’t help myself.  I’m in New Orleans.

Went to Rock and Bowl that night....a bowling alley with a stage for some of the best musicians you’ll ever hear.  We saw Royal Southern Brotherhood....a new band with Devon Allmann (Gregg’s son) and Cyril Neville of the New Orleans Nevilles...blues and southern rock and roll.  Couldn’t stop dancing!  Way too old for this but ya just gotta love it.

The next day was the Heritage and Jazz Fest.  Where to park????  It was at the race track in the middle of a neighborhood with no parking in sight.  We decide to take a bus down Esplanade and park near the bus stop.

I was a little nervous not knowing the neighborhoods.  No parking lots anywhere nearby.  We drove down North Rampart near the bus stop looking for a spot.  Couldn’t find one.  Turned into a street.  No parking meters.  In the city???  That didn’t seem right.  Now, my radar was in full mode.

Steve’s not the least bit worried....cool as a cucumber, as usual.  We park the car and start walking to the bus stop, passing a bar that’s going strong at 10 in the morning.  He doesn’t even notice.

By the time we get to the stop, at least a hundred people were already there and no bus came for 20 minutes.  Eventually, the cab drivers started showing up in droves so we hopped in one and took off to the festival.

Wow...so many stages and tents...gospel, blues, rock and roll, blue grass, jazz...you name it, it was there.  You can only imagine the smorgasbord of ethnic food.

But the whole time, I had this nagging feeling about my car....my blue Solara convertible.  Will the top be slashed?  Will the tires be there?  Will it even start?

We took a cab back and gave the driver directions to the car.  He looked at us like we were crazy out-of-towners.  When we got there the car appeared to be in one piece.  In a somber tone, he spoke, “You are very lucky.”

Steve started up the car as I sighed with relief.  “Wow.  You know Ray* was working overtime today.”

My nonbeliever just smiled and nodded.












*The best guardian angel ever!!!!

Ray's the Man

OMG!  I can’t believe it...over three months since I posted on this blog.  Mmmm...what have I been doing?  Well...after sending a silent nightly message to my spirit guides every night about who I wanted in my life, they came through in spades!

Do you remember my mantra?  I asked for someone who would accept me unconditionally, someone loyal and true, generous and kind, and someone who is great bridge player.  I know that sounds a little bizarre but I love the game and I definitely wanted someone to travel to tournaments all over the country with.  It’s just not that fun if you’re investing in the game with someone who’s a lousy player.

But, he showed up and, actually, he’d been here all along.  I met him three years ago through my former lousy partner and philandering mate.  We started playing together occasionally and then regularly and ...voila!  Life happens!

We are traveling fools...our kids (there are 8 between us) bemoan the fact that we’re never home.  We are on the bridge circuit on the east coast traveling to regionals and nationals racking up the Marriott points along the way.

I have to tell you what happened at the last regional about a month ago.  We had a fruitful beginning winning an event that gave us some decent master points but then we started sinking.  Soooo frustrating....what’s going on??  Why the slide?  We spent every dinner analyzing every hand we played trying to get a handle on improving our game.

I know most of you reading this don’t play bridge so let me explain how it works at these competitions.  In duplicate bridge, you’re playing different opponents every three hands but your REAL competition are the pairs that are playing your same hands.  If you’re playing North/South, you’re competing against all the other pairs playing the same direction.  Hopefully, this is making some sense.  You win according to which pair has the highest percentage playing the same hands.

Basically, an average game is 50% and a really good game is 60%.  A kick ass game is 70%.  I have only had two 70% games in my life and that was not against huge competition....definitely not at a tournament.  We kept scoring in the low to mid 50s, not enough to win or even place in the event.

I decided to call in the big guns.  I called on my spirit guide, Ray.  “Ray, help us out here.  I know this isn’t life or death but I’d really like to have a big game and win this event.”

I did not tell my partner...just kept something to myself for once in my life.

We started playing.  I felt it from the first hand.  We were having a big game.  My partner’s always more circumspect but even he felt it.  Twenty four hands.  I kept praying that we could keep it together for the entire session.

At the end of the penultimate round after playing 21 hands, the scores up to that point are posted.  I dared myself to go up and look.  OMG!!! 79.9%!  Totally freaked me out!  We were playing against 59 pairs, and we were having an 80% game!

I told my partner and his eyes popped open, “WHAT??!!”  We sat down to play the last three hands and I blew every one!  Just couldn’t keep my concentration or was ridiculously overconfident.

We ended up with a 69% game, winning the event.  Of course, we were thrilled but wow...we could’ve had an even bigger game.

But, Ray had made his point.  He made sure I knew he was right there with me....even if he threw me to the wolves for the last three hands....lol.

Later that night over our red wine, I told Steve, my partner, that I had asked my spirit guide to help us win.  He asked me if I had ever asked for anything like that before.  I replied, “No.”  What I didn’t say is that I generally don’t ask for anything unless it’s something huge like finding a great life partner like him.

Steve just smiled and shook his head.  He’s not a big believer like me but he doesn’t pooh pooh it either.  He just says anything’s possible.

Ya think???

A Woo Woo Week

I’m on the bridge circuit these days traveling with my best partner, Jim.  As he puts it, we are playing some kick ass bridge.  So, last week, we arrived on a Monday at the regional tournament in Williamsburg, Virginia.

Our first game was at 1 p.m., a side game where we’re playing people with thousands of points....way more than we have.  I open my convention card holder and out flies a fluffy pink feather.  I laugh out loud and say to him, “Marcia’s here.”  Of course, he looks at me like I’m nuts and I explain that Marcia’s in spirit and told me when I saw a feather, she was close by.  His expression didn’t change.  Nuts.  Yep...but we won our session!!!

Later in the week, we were playing in a high stakes game...the finals of a Knock Out event.  If you lose, you’re knocked out but we had managed to stay in until the end.  I open my hand and he responds.  We have spades together then he asks for aces.  Then, he bids 5 No Trump.  Now, it’s pretty clear he has a good hand and we have all the aces.  His bid is basically telling me to pick a slam.  He thinks we can take 12 out of 13 tricks.

So, basically, it comes down to whether I should bid 6 Spades or 6 No Trump.  Of course, if I bid 6 No Trump, we get more points but it’s also one of the hardest bids to make.  If we’re short in a suit, it could be disastrous if our opponents get in.  I only have two diamonds in my hand--the ace and the king.  Plus, I have losers in the other suits that I will need to get rid of.  And, then it comes to me.

I get a flash of his hand.  I see his diamond holding...Queen, Jack, 10 and three more.  So, on that vision, I go to 6 No Trump.  The opponents lead and his hand comes down.  There they were...the diamonds just as I had seen them.  Needless to say, I made the contract!

We had another kick ass tournament...obviously, with some “help.”  We drove home and I dropped Jim off.  I’m grinning all the way home.  And, then, I smell it.  The overpowering aroma of coffee.  OMG!  Ray’s here.  That’s my main spirit guide.  I’m pretty sure when I get that coffee smell, it’s him reminding me I am not alone and I say out loud, “Did I forget to thank you?!”

“Well, thank you, Ray.  You do one helluva job guiding me and you’re a pretty good bridge player, too!”

I think they’re all around us...trying to give us messages and trying to make our lives easier.  Heed those flashes!  By the way, we won the Knock Out!!

Edith, My Other Mom

One Sunday afternoon about a year ago, I had a date to play social duplicate bridge with my philandering and now ex-boyfriend.  This was soon after I had started attending The Center for Spiritual Enlightenment, a spiritualist church, in Virginia.  I suggested that he come with me.  He shocked me by agreeing to it.

The first part of the service is meditation and healing.  Then, there’s a service with hymns and a sermon and, finally, the service ends with mediums giving messages to various members of the congregation.

I actually get disappointed if I don’t get a message because it seems to happen to me fairly regularly.  In this service, there were two guest mediums and the message portion went on longer than usual....maybe 15 minutes.  I was thinking none of my spirit family or friends were there when one of the mediums looked in my direction and said, “Let me hear your voice.”  The woman in front of me speaks and the medium says, “No, the woman in back of you.”  That’s me!  “Good morning,” I said.

“There’s a woman here with a motherly vibration.  She’s telling me her name is Edith.  Do you know a woman by the name of Edith?”  I shake my head and John urgently whispers, “That’s my mother!”  So, I started nodding my head.

“She has a message for you and she wants you not to worry about what others think.  You’re on the right path.  Stay on it.  Others will try to stand in your way, but ignore them.”  Wow....no kidding.  I’m thinking maybe she likes my path better than John’s.

Needless to say, this message had real meaning for me.  I was going through a spiritual upheaval.  There was turmoil in my romantic relationship with her son.  I was pretty angry with my mother, who had put us all through a violent and hellish family life.  (I know...way too old to still be harboring such resentment, but it was there, nevertheless.)

And, that was the beginning of my relationship with Edith.  Relationship?  Definitely.  From that moment, I felt her presence.  I know this is weird but, suddenly, I felt nurtured, as if she was acting as my mother, providing me with this unconditional love I never felt from my own mother.

I believe that we choose our parents before we enter this world and I felt like maybe she could’ve been my mom.  But, I chose my real mom for karmic reasons.  Perhaps, my soul would advance further if I could find peace in that relationship.  In any case, I started carrying Edith’s picture (and still do) and felt such warmth for her and from her.

A few weeks later, I was in Florida at a reading in Cassadaga and who was the first spirit to pop through??  Edith!!

“There’s an older lady here.  There’s a kindness with her.  She never met a stranger.  She has a lot of energy and is very family oriented.  She’s a great integrator of people.  She says you are like a daughter to her.  She is very pleased you are reaching out so far and feels with time and patience, you could intuit and she wants to be the first to greet you.  She is very happy for you.”

I ask her about John’s path referring to his romance with polyamory and his desire for multiple women.  She responds, “I like your path better.  He is very stubborn.  He doesn’t listen anyway.  I’ve been with you for some time and you are on a higher path and I want to take it with you.  I wanted to do it when I was on earth but I didn’t get to.”

But, I admit, I was confused.  I’m sure she was the one who said “Just love him” when I was so down after learning about his fooling around.  I know she tried her absolute best to send him a message through me about his lifestyle.

In that reading, she showed the medium the name Anna.  That had no meaning for me at all.  When I asked John about it, he said she was a neighbor who died young of brain cancer.  He thought the world of her; he knew his mom was speaking through me.  He said his mom always said he never listened, “Everybody’s out of step but John” was her common refrain.

And, three months later, she surfaced again....this time with my grandmother and they were brutal about John.  “Yes, there is a soul love but that doesn’t mean he’s the best for you in this life time.  There’s no reason for him to make a commitment; he has his cake and can eat it, too.”  That’s my grandmother speaking.

Then, Edith chimes in with, “He’s immature and can’t grow up.  I tried.  There are so many women willing to put up with it.  He’s playing the party boy.  He got burned so he won’t settle down no matter what.  He dangles the carrot.  How many times are you going to play that game?  Hope for the best but let him get himself together.  If he doesn’t, he doesn’t.  You can be his friend but you don’t have to.”

Edith continues with, “Cut him loose.  You’ll never be happy.  I’m tired of you going through the wringer.  He’s a player.  There is a wholesome, nice guy in your future.  Isn’t it obvious?  I’m helping you to find him.  I am adamant.  See this through.  My son is a deadbeat.”

“He had a heartbreak.  HIs lesson is to get past it, to trust again.  He has low self-esteem.  He loves you but your love is not enough.  He can’t see right now what is good for him.  That’s where he is in his development.  Don’t take on his life lessons.”

Her last words were “kick the bum to the curb.”

Of course, I gave him one last chance but it didn’t take.  They were right.  I was slow on the uptake.  And, Edith sent me a wholesome, nice guy just like she promised.

I think Mom likes me better....:-)

Medium School

Did I ever tell you I went to medium school?  It seems like any time I went for a reading, I got the same message....’you have the gift.’  What that means, of course, is that I could be in contact with the ‘other side.‘   I believe that probably anyone has ‘the gift.’  I believe there is so much more to this world than we can ever imagine.  Maybe, it’s just a matter of being open to it.

God knows, I’m open!  So, I enrolled.  We learned all about spiritualism and its principles:  Belief in Infinite Spirit, brotherhood of humanity, the Golden Rule and life after death.  Got it, I’m there.  The rejection of materialism and the expansion of consciousness.  Check!

We learned about clairvoyance--seeing into the spiritual world, clairsentience---sensing, and clairaudience--hearing voices.  Meditation is what helps to bring out these gifts in you.  Clairvoyance is supposedly the first to manifest itself and clairaudience, the last.

We practiced meditation, which I’m pretty good at...I can get into a totally relaxed state easily.  The trick being not to fall asleep.

In one of our first classes, we did an experiment with psychometry.  This is where you take a piece of jewelry someone’’s wearing and feel their vibration and this acts as a springboard to the spirit world.  Our teacher said this is the easiest and most successful way to get someone’s life story.

Everyone broke into pairs and tried it.  OMG!  My classmates weaved these incredibly intricate plots and messages.  I was told I was at a crossroads and that I had a Native American guide and the message I got was that I was moving.  Interesting, since I had been told that before in former readings.

And what did I get for my partner?  I held onto to her bracelet for what seemed like forever.  I waited and waited for some great insight to present itself.  I got nothing....nada...zilch.  I marveled at what other people were getting.

I had always been a pretty good student, but now I felt like a dunce.  There was one other woman in the ‘back row’ with me so, at least, I had company.

I shined in the healing session, however.  I could manifest that healing energy in spades.

I’m not sure I’ve ever had a clairvoyance experience.  I was doing a workshop with John Holland and Sharon Taylor at Lily Dale last summer and thought I saw a man in my meditation but I didn’t recognize him.  The teachers say to always trust your instincts.  Get the left brain out of the way.  Don’t analyze; just go with the feeling.

I thought I had a clairaudient moment once.  I was lying in bed trying to go to sleep, feeing pretty angry with my ex-boyfriend because of his ‘fooling around,’ which I had just learned about.  And, I swear, I heard this voice clear as day say “Just love him.”  So, I did for awhile, until I heard another voice say, “Kick the bum to the curb!”  I think both times it was Edith, his mother....that’s a post for another day.

But, the clairsentience....that’s different.  I can sense a presence primarily through smell.  On occasion, I’ll be driving along when all of a sudden I get this overpowering aroma of coffee....no, I am not drinking it nor is it in the car.  I think it’s my spirit guide, Ray, letting me know he’s right there with me.

The smell of a pipe will fill a room and my sister knows that’s my cousin, who passed in 1992, dropping in for a visit.

One of my high school buds always knows when a spirit comes.  It most often happens to her when she’s driving, also.  She gets a sweet smell, like aftershave...always with men...her father, her brother-in-law and father-in-law.  But, she gets messages from them, indicating how happy they are to be in spirit.

Have you ever had this happen to you?  I think we probably all have but most of the time, we just say, ‘Where’s that smell coming from?’ and go on about our business.

So, I didn’t go to the head of the class in medium school.  I still think we all have ‘the gift.’  I know I need to get more serious about meditating...way too erratic on that.  I need to let the left brain take a vacation more often...really hard when you’re a bridge addict like me.

I don’t need to be the star student in medium school.  I just need to be open to the signs  and messages that surround us.  I am quite content to have readings in Cassadaga.  I can always meet up with my friends and family in spirit there.